Understanding Early Childhood Grief
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July 31, 2024
Grief affects everyone differently, especially children. Understanding how children process grief can be challenging but crucial for parents and caregivers. Michelle Benigno, a certified Grief Recovery specialist and Early Childhood Parent Educator, sheds light on this sensitive topic through her experience and work with Good Grief Parenting.
Michelle’s journey with grief began when she lost her son to cancer. At the time, her daughter was just three and a half years old. The profound impact of this loss on her daughter, who expressed feeling “half gone,” highlighted the unique way children experience and understand grief. This experience became the foundation of Michelle’s work and the inspiration for her upcoming book, “How Am I Supposed to Do This? Hope and Healing After Child Loss: Parenting a Bereaved Sibling Through Early Childhood When Your Heart Is Broken.”
The Importance of Addressing Grief in Children
The book addresses the complex emotions parents and children face after a significant loss. Michelle emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and addressing these feelings, both for the parent and the child. Her book aims to provide guidance on navigating this difficult journey, helping parents support their bereaved children effectively.
Michelle’s insights are rooted in her personal experience and professional expertise. As an early childhood parent educator, she was acutely aware of her daughter’s emotional needs during their family’s grieving process. This awareness led her to search for resources on parenting after child loss, but she found none. Determined to fill this gap, she embarked on a mission to create resources that would help other parents facing similar challenges.
Teaching Children to Grieve Healthily
One of the key messages Michelle conveys is that grief is not something to be avoided or minimized, especially for children. She believes that childhood is the best time to learn about grief, as it prepares individuals for the inevitable losses they will face in life. Teaching children to grieve healthily helps them grow through their grief, rather than being hindered by it.
Fostering a Grief-Literate Society
Michelle’s business, Good Grief Parenting, focuses on reframing how society views grief. She aims to educate parents, caregivers, and educators on the importance of addressing grief openly and honestly with children. By doing so, she hopes to foster a more grief-literate society where individuals can support each other through loss rather than avoiding the topic out of discomfort or fear.
Michelle’s story also highlights the unique and enduring nature of parental grief. The loss of a child is unlike any other grief, as it involves the loss of future potential and identity. Parents often struggle with feelings of guilt and an ongoing sense of loss, which can be compounded by societal expectations and misunderstandings about grief.
Despite the challenges, Michelle continues to advocate for open conversations about grief and the importance of supporting bereaved siblings. Her upcoming keynote at the Bereaved Parents of the USA national conference underscores her commitment to this cause. Though her book is not yet finished, Michelle is dedicated to completing it and sharing her knowledge with others.
In addition to her book, Michelle offers various resources through Good Grief Parenting, including a guide for educators and group coaching programs. Her goal is to equip adults with the tools they need to help children navigate their grief journey healthily and constructively.
Michelle’s journey with grief and her dedication to helping others is a testament to the power of resilience and the importance of addressing difficult emotions. By sharing her story and providing valuable resources, she hopes to make a positive impact on families facing the profound challenges of grief and loss.
For more information and resources, visit Good Grief Parenting at goodgriefparenting.com. You can also connect with Michelle on social media through Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook.
Michele Benyo is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, early childhood parent coach, and the founder of Good Grief Parenting.
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Lisa, this issue of child grief is very important. When my sister died suddenly at Thanksgiving time, she had been a great loving force for her grandson, then 5. They had spent at least 25 hours per week together, plus family time with his mom/my sister’s daughter and her partner. We were and are still so shocked. My sister was only 72, and we had thought she would live at least 15 more years. My nephew’s main reaction to her disappearance was *anger*. Fortunately, his mom is an amazing mother and also has gotten him counseling; he is still angry. Thanks for a thought-provoking post.
Thanks for listening Kebba! How tragic for you and your family. xo
being grief literate (such an important term) is so very necessary.. and i am learning it with each passing year.. that must have been tough for Michelle to go through and I salute her for helping others through her own grief.
Thank you Vidya!
That sounds like a great book, and I know it will be helpful for grieving parents who want to help their grieving child. When i was younger, my parents didn’t know how to deal with my grief, so I kept in mind what I had learned as an adult, when my son’s best friend was killed in a car accident. I’m glad you’re doing this work.
It will be. Michele is fantastic! We truly are grief-illiterate.